Two Strategies That Might Help Manage
or Resolve Conflict More Productively
Think about any disagreements, or conflicts, you have
recently experienced or are currently experiencing at work with a supervisor or
colleague, or someone in your personal life. Share at least two strategies you
have learned about that might help you manage or resolve the conflict more
productively, and why these strategies might be effective. I have learned so
many strategies and have some that I already use reinforced it was hard to choose.
I have been off work due to a disability so my experience will be based on my
family whom I have been given the pleasure of spending more time with since I
am unable to work.
The most recent conflict that I
have experienced involves my second and third younger sisters (whom I also raised
as my own from the ages of five and six) and me. The older one is mentally ill,
she has fired her care-giver, had her doctor sign paper work stating that she
is capable of managing her own affairs and money. It has come to light that she
has not been taking care of her affairs, or going to her doctor’s appointments,
or taking her medicine. She is also behind in her rent and her gas is turned
off. Being that I see her more as my daughter, the
first thing I did was start to tell her all about the things she had done wrong
and that she was not capable of taking care of herself and that she had proved
it by the mess she had made. I told her I was not going to help her fix it, that
she had to fix it on her own. My third youngest sister was there during all of
these. She was the “middle” person trying to get each of us to see the others
point of view. “That the goal is not to end or eliminate conflict but simply to
transform the way it is expressed ¬ from destructive forms such as violence,
abuse, and intolerance into constructive forms such as debate, dialogue,
negotiation, and democracy.” http://www.thirdside.org/assump.cfm
The learning’s for this week
has given me the following strategies
that I can use when dealing with my second oldest sister: I can channel my feeling from thinking negative about my sister and
her behavior. I now know how to identify and express my feeling in a way that will
not imply that I am judging, showing criticism, or punishing her.
The learning’s this week have also reinforced my
knowledge that I need to look at the situation from an outsiders point of view
even when it involves one of my own. The Thirdside.org explains it better than
I could: This means seeking to understand all sides to the conflict,
encouraging a peaceful nonviolent process for engaging deep differences, and
supporting an inclusive outcome that addresses the essential needs of all. To
gain perspective and see from the Third Side you need to Go to the Balcony. The
Balcony is a mental place of calm and perspective where you can keep your eyes
on what is truly important. Imagine that the conflict is happening on a stage
and you are on the balcony overlooking the stage. Going to the balcony means
taking a distanced view of close things. What do you see from up there? How
does that alter your perspective? This is now what I do when talking or dealing
with anything to do with my second oldest sister.
Reference
Chenieka, you have struck my interest with your blog! I am very interested in reading more about Thirdside.org These are wonderful resources to assist with effective communication in our personal and professional lives. Thank you for sharing!
ReplyDeleteChenieka, I admire the strength and courage it must have taken to take an outside perspective on a situation that is so personal. It sounds as though it empowered your sister to take responsibility for resolving some issues.
ReplyDeleteChenieka, you have really gain good understanding of the lesson this week, and the events which has your sister in a state where you can look and understand how to help.I like the idea of looking at the perspetive on the outside, and supporting as she makes the correct choice to fix things.
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