The microaggression that I detected this week was sexual
orientation microaggression. I am the Site Supervisor for a center that has
four programs, two part-day classes, one LAUP class, one full-day and one city
program. In my LAUP program I had one child that was picked up one and a half
hour after her pick up time. We waited thirty minutes and started calling her
emergency numbers, we left messages on the numbers that were working but a few
of the numbers were out of service. About five minutes after she was picked up
the father called. He told me “I need to come in there and teach you how to use
the phone.” This was not the first time I had to deal with this father; he
seems to have no respect for any of the female staff at the center. This really
upset me and had me questioning this man’s up-brining. I don’t believe that his
attitude towards females is that way with just the staff members because I have
seen him interact with his wife in the same demeaning way. The next day I had
the child’s teachers ask me could I be the middle person when it comes to
dealing with the father because he made them feel like they were incompetent at
their job because they didn’t continue to call him tell he answered.
It can be very nerve wracking and intimidating to have to deal with people who are unreasonable. I have experienced people using this tactic of verbal abuse to try to make others back down, so that they can get their own way. His words also conveyed a microinsult, insinuating that none of you know how to operate a phone. While I do not have all the details and obviously do not personally know this man it would be very unfair of me to pass judgement. What I have found is that it is important to stay true to yourself and begin to repair the relationship with this father, particularly for his child's self esteem. I think you are right to consider what has happened in his past to make him react in this way. It might provide a completely different perspective.
ReplyDeleteI get this all the time as well. Except it is not only female inferiority it is also the fact that I am not military( currently). I had a gentleman walk in Friday demanding to see the written policy about curtosey calls and injuries. We do not have one, its just best practices. All the man really wanted was for me to acknowledge his Warrant Officer rank and the fact that my front desk clerk was not respectful enough of that rank from his perpective. I have had male dominant families that will have the father try and intimidate me because I am in a so called female role of "authority." I always diffuse that chest beating with a diversion back to how thier child felt as result of our failure to communicate. Putting the ball back inthier court always seems to do the trick.
ReplyDeleteHaley
I work on a military base and we too run into the "respect my machismo" male service members. This even though we have a very large percentage of female service members on the base.
ReplyDelete